In Search of Wisdom

At a transforming moment in her life, Ruth Haley Barton was told: “You are like a jar of river water all shaken up. What you need is to sit still long enough that the sediment can settle and the water can become clear” (Invitation to Solitude and Silence, p. 29). Ruth is now a spiritual director, teacher and author who invites others into the presence of God.

In some ways, I am not a noise-needing person. I don’t have a stream of music entering my ears while I read; I don’t need the television on in the background of the rest of life. Even so, there is a noise inside me – present even on my early morning walks and as I’m falling asleep at night – a noise that is not unlike stirred up river water. Time and again, I need to hear the call, the invitation, to silence… so that the sediment can settle and I can see more clearly and hear more clearly the love and the voice of the Shepherd.

This past Saturday, several discerners gathered at Calvin Seminary for a Discerning Your Calling conversation. I included 30 minutes of silence in the five hour event. As I read through the evaluations of the event, it became clear that the silence was a very important part of the retreat – and that the participants wanted even more. More silence. More solitude. Even if we don’t take the initiative to carve out a time of silence in our daily spiritual walk, we crave it! And when we get a taste, we want more.

How has silence played a role in your search for truth and for God?

Tags: Books, Spiritual Disciplines by Heidi
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I started seminary when I was 23 years old. Newly married, kid-less, and with a husband bringing in a Christian school teacher’s salary, we had just enough to make it month to month. Taking on a seminary education did not involve huge personal or financial sacrifice for me.

I am now 31 years old – and in the last eight years, I’ve met so many people who have given up a host of family, friend, and church connections and a financially padded standard of living in order to train for the ministry. They’ve made difficult decisions and sacrifices that have left them lonely and poor and have taxed their spouses and children.

The anonymous author of The Cloud of Unknowing tells us that

God will never disappoint those who truly abandon worldly concerns to dedicate themselves to him. You can be certain of this: he will provide one of two things for his friends. Either they will receive an abundance of all they need or he will give them the physical stamina and a patient heart to endure it. (Chapter 23)

I have seen one of these two things happen for many of God’s friends. Their stories are encouragements – testimonies to God’s faithfulness.

But I have also encountered many who have decided not to make the sacrifices. I honor their decisions. Who am I to say, from personal experience, that these sacrifices can or should be made? How difficult it must be to uproot, to let go of the paycheck, to tear children away from their schools, to take a spouse away from their work. These are legitimate connections - many of which don’t necessarily fall into the category of ‘worldly concerns’ – that keep people from entering the path to a new calling.

And yet, perhaps some of you who are weighing the sacrifice may find hope in these words from The Cloud. ‘Practical’ concerns are very much a part of the discernment process – they’re part of the spiritual journey – God cares about them. Your heavenly Father knows what you need… “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33).

Can I get a witness?

Tags: Books, Call to Ministry, Decisions by Heidi
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